Thoughts & Emotions

💭

It's amazing at how our minds work.

The magnificent mind.

Like the saying goes.

Mind over matter.

I always have my own battle in my head.

And it gets even harder when feelings are involved.

I'm not here to preach or tell anybody that this is how thoughts are suppose to be arrayed.

Not to educate individuals that thoughts are supposed to be as such.

Just sharing my experiences and whatever I have learnt throughout my 31 years on this earth.

My thoughts and thinking process are generally as what it is due to my upbringing and what I see happening around me.

I don't really have a perfect childhood.

But I had an awesome one.

But also a traumatic one.

Atleast for me.

I'm Asian.

So you know what asian parents do when you do something wrong.

Or even when you're not at fault but they think you're at fault.

I'm always beaten up by my mom.

It's not a pretty sight.

But sometimes it's partly because of what I did.

So I got scared of whatever my mom is gonna do to me.

For whatever the reason was.

I even have thoughts about running away from my house.

That's gonna be another problem.

Where, how, what am I going to survive on.

I can't even support myself.

Too many chain of thoughts thats been going on in my mind,

Apart from my mom beating me up and acting all saint in front of my dad.

I was also bullied in school.

I mean I do have friends.

I'm not those kids that got bullied and got no friends.

It's not really that bad.

But it's more of tormented childhood.

I've been called names.

Disturbed.

To the extent I cried.

I felt like running away.

I just couldn't take it any longer.

My mind was going bonkers.

I keep on having suicidal thoughts.

Thoughts of running away.

Thoughts of just leaving the world and going to another world.

Where nobody knows me.

But again I don't want to worry my parents.

So I'm like scrap that plan.

I'll just wait for the new school.

A new school.

New me.

Fresh start.

That actually helped me.

Changed my mindset and stop my thoughts from getting crazier than ever.

I was really battling the war in my head.

They are all speaking at the same time.

I can't listen to any thing properly.

This affects my mood.

I keep on getting emotional.

I just want to be alone.

I always feel like cooping up myself in the room.

I don't wanna talk to anyone.

My mind and my emotions would not cooperate.

Not just the war in my head.

But they are also having their own fight with each other.

Emotions and Thoughts.

I've always have problems with controlling my thoughts and emotions.

Fact is they are two different things that is hard for them to co-relate with one another.

In actual fact thoughts are much more stronger than emotions.

But in other instances they are pretty much about the same.

Thoughts sets your mindset. 

Thus controlling your perception of things can be amended.

Into good.

Or bad.

Or just stagnant.

Your choice.

Nobody have a say in it except yourself.

As years goes by I overcome my emotions through mental.

It's a lie if I still don't feel sad, mad, happy about certain flashbacks.

I brush those emotions aside so I will be happier in life.

That's all I have to say as of now.

I feel its too big of a topic to talk about for the time being.

Let's hope there is Thoughts & Emotions 2.0

NHD