Change.

 

Sometimes it's not about yourself.

Sometimes it is.

Depends on the situation.

I can't say the same about myself because as it is it may seem as a biased comment.

I have tried my best not to get angry.

I have tried my best to suppressed all this emotions.

I have tried my best to be my better self.

What I doing wrong.

Where have I gone wrong.

It seems that everything I did is a problem or a mistake.

Going out I have to be on my toes.

Being away I have to be on my toes.

Going to work I have to be on my toes.

Going out with our friends together I have to be on my toes.

Saying things I have to be on my toes.

There is no more being open about what I feel.

Or how I react.

Can't be too nice.

Can't be too sacarstic.

Can't be too helpful.

Can't be mindful.

Can't be bitching.

Can't be changing plans last minute.

Can't be late.

and few others I can't remember.

What happen to the happy go lucky me?

What happen to freedom?

Is it true when you are married its lockdown?

Is there no space at all.

Is it about making time?

Or is it about having time?

Or may is it just me?

Have I not thought about the other person?

Have I neglected the feelings of the other person?

Have I not given enough time?

What is quality time?

Is it any time when together?

Or specific time outside together?

How does a conversation work?

2 way?

1 way?

Is talking too much about new found work not quality time?

Is talking too much about work annoying?

Is talking too much about work means I love my part time work too much?

Am I annoying talking about it?

What is the definition of annoying?

What is the definition of family friends?

What is the definition of family?

What is the definition of being fake?

Would you rather be fake to family?

Or be fake to people who you don't know?

Is being yourself with your family and other halves wrong?

Or there is a limit to it?

Is there a limit to everything?

Or not everything has limits.

But you just have to know what it is.

Like how the hell do I do that.

Do I even have time to do it?

How's my tone and voice?

How's my facial expression?

Do people feel the same way when I talk about theirs?

Do I always told them off?

Is being a grammar nazi worse than telling people off?

or what is worse?

What action?

I'm at loss.

Working in my element and looking forward to go to work is a wrong choice?

Just because its part time. 

I dont know how else to process all this in my thoughts.

Anyhoos

I dont even know what's a correct choice or wrong choice.

I dont even know what is a correct word or a wrong word to use.

Anyhoos.

Hitting my head with a metal pole is a better choice.